A Travellerspoint blog

August 2010

The Calm that Comes Before the Storm

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The next day:

Its the day before Joe's birthday, and we were traveling to Hiroshima. The island Miyajima was just off of Hiroshima, so we decided to spend the night at the Hiroshima hostel and travel to Miyajima tomorrow morning since the accommodations on the small island were quite expensive. This morning I woke up and spent a lot of time trying to make sure that we had everything in order before we hit Hiroshima. Where was the hostel, how do we get there from the Shinkonsen, what time does the ferry leave for Miyajima, do we have to take a bus to get to the ferry, or can we walk, what are the walking directions, etc. However, some assholes were watching really loud reality tv in the lounge I was sitting in and I couldn't get anything done. I had a huge headache and was having trouble reading with all the noise. I gave up after wasting shit tones of time and sanity. Joe came into the lounge to get some breakfast and found me as I was leaving. "Hey, we should..." yeah, I cut him off and told him to screw it, we'd just have to play it by ear b/c it was almost checkout time and I didn't figure out anything. He let it go at that. Smart.

We hit Hiroshima fairly quickly after boarding the "bullet train" from Tokyo, and after arriving there we waited about an hour at the information desk for these two girls from Australia to have the guy book them a hostel, give them travel directions, and explain what there is to see in hiroshima. Fuck! All we wanted was to make sure we could reserve a hostel too, and here these girls were taking up all the info desk time during a huge baseball game and a kimono festival! Problem- tuns of Japanese people were booking up all the rooms in Hiroshima for the festival and for the game, and these girls knew we wanted help reserving a room, and all they could do was turn to us and apologize for taking so much time "hihihihi" (that was a giggle from the Australians). Needless to say, I wasn't laughing.

When they finally left we actually ended up getting 2 beds at the Hiroshima hostel that these girls refused b/c they wanted a hotel (yes!). Joe and I would be sleeping in separate wings b/c of the gender issue, so that put a little kink in my plans to have makeup... stuff, but then I thought that maybe it was for the best. Who says that you have to force feed us playing nice on someone's birthday. If we couldn't resolve things out of the bedroom, than we shouldn't be resolving them in it either... right? Right!

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We decided to ditch our things at the train station lockers and hop on a bus to the street where they were having the kimono festival and check that out for a few hours. All in all, this was a fairly good idea. There were some awkward moments where we still weren't quite sure how to act around each other, but we had fun I think. Getting to the festival we agreed that we would just follow the girls in the kimonos off the bus, and that seemed to work just fine. Then from there, we walked about a block, and then bam! Both sides of this side street were filled with venders selling all sorts of Japanese carnival sweets and deep fried foods. As we walked we passed about 80% of the people on the street who were in kimonos.

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After walking around, ducking into smaller side streets we found a central square that seemed to be set up for some sort of show, so we sat down there and waited for a bit to see if we could accidentally catch something. Joe ended up talking with a little old man about simple things, "How are you?" "Do you like Japan?" "Where are you from?" "Do you like dogs?" And then his little old wife rolled over in her wheel chair and let us pet her puppy that sat in her lap. This was when we noticed that she had no legs. It was really sad, but the two of them seemed so happy. They were happy to meet us, happy to speak english with us, happy to hear me tell them in Japanese that I thought their dog was cute, and happy to be at the kimono festival on this beautiful summer day.

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We hung around for a bit longer, watched a bunch of really cute kids play run around the square and scream, and then decided that it was getting late and we better grab some dinner and head out for the hostel before dark.

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Those girls were adorable. Their dad caught me trying to get a pic of them, so he stopped them, explained to them that I wanted their photo, and then tried to get them all to look at me for the picture, but they were so nervous and giggly that the above pic was the best one I got. - Adorable.

But, after we got back to the train station, and Joe found a restaurant he wanted to eat at, and I found a place I wanted to eat at, and we both got our food, and then we both found a place where we could both sit down and eat it, and then we finished and went to get our stuff out of the lockers... it was dark.

I screwed up big time and even though the guy at the info desk gave me times for the bus departure to the hostile, I didn't rush our meal to catch the bus that left about 15 minutes ago. Now we had about 40 minutes to wait until another bus left for that part of town.

Joe wondered off to do some kung fu not in the bus station while I diligently sat in the exhaust.

Decked out motorcycle:
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Fountain outside the train station:
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I was so freaked out to follow Joe to this fountain b/c the bus should be coming any minute, that I kept looking back at the bus stop while Joe explained what he liked about this fountain, and then the bus pulled in and I forced him to run we me the 50 feet to the bus and we got onto the second last bus leaving for that part of town.

When we got off the bus I was completely lost. We walked back and forth for a bit, squinting at my directions, and then looking at the half assed version of a map we had. We were way out of down town, so there was hardly any light or places to ask for directions. There was one convenient store in sight, so i went to it and asked the clerk in Japanese if he could tell me how to get to the hostel. Thank god, he spoke some English. His directions were about right, and it turned out that whether we followed the part of the directions that said how many streets to cross, or the part that said turn down the street with the parking garage sign, we would find small posters pointing out how to find the hostel.

We had a pretty long walk up a steep hill to what appeared to be a mental institution on the top of the hill, but it was the hostel, and we made it in just 5 minutes until 10 pm when the doors are locked and the front desk is closed for the evening.

Joe and I sat in the cafeteria for a minute and we logged onto the internet, and then we split up our things. "Okay, well, you can take the phone and charge that in your room, and I'll charge the video camera in mine." I said. "Yeah, I can do that." He said. "Okay then..." I continued. "Yeeaah." He sighed. Joe dug through the backpack for the phone charger while I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I got back I said "You can have the toiletries tonight now, I'm done with them." "Okay, thanks." "..." "..." What to say... what to say. "Well, good night." "Yeah, night." We turned our backs to one another and started walking. I cradled the laptop against my chest as if I was hugging it, or someone. When I got to the end of the hall I turned around and looked at him. He was still walking, his hall was longer than mine before he had to turn to go to the men's wing. I wasn't going to have one of those moments, where I turn, and he isn't looking, and then I turn back, only to have him look to me moments later. I waited. I wasn't going to call to him, but if he turned around, then that would be that. It was up to him. Would we make eye contact, would we say something else, would we fight again, it was up to him. He wasn't turning. My heard was beating so fast I wanted to squeeze my laptop so hard it would smother its movements. "Hey" I called. Yeah, real willpower there. We met back up. "I miss you.” No explanation needed. He understood what I meant. We talked for a minute. He agreed, and we hugged, but it was only a friendly hug. We were not making up. We were just acknowledging that neither one of use were fooled by our general cordiality. I wanted to kiss him, but not then. I just wanted the idea of it. I wanted the memory of it. I wanted this moment to be like a moment out of our past when we kissed, and both of us were there, both wanting to kiss one another, not because of who or what we were, but because in that moment, kissing what what those two momentary people desired to do with one another. In this moment, we did not want to kiss each other goodnight. We both seemed to want to want it, but knew that in this moment, these two snap shot people, would not be kissing.

Live in the moment.

Forget your past.

Forget what tomorrow is.

Who are you right now?

How do you feel about the person in front of you?

Do you want to kiss them? Do they want to kiss you?

If the answer is no, shed a tear, give a shy grin, and say goodnight.

The tear didn't even make it down my cheek before I was already walking to my wing of this crazy place we were in. Stillness crept over me as I passed the dark and empty front desk area. I was numb by the time I reached my room. I was alone when I curled into bed.

Posted by - Rain 23:34 Comments (0)

Destination: Tokyo

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But first, its 5am, and we are ready to see Mt. Fuji.

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Just barley, but there it is, with the Shinkansen passing in front of it.

So, what do we have to do to commemorate this moment? Human pyramid!

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Then it was time to leave our Wish Club Japan Highlight Trip for or last destination: Tokyo.

And, I think I know another reason why we can't see Mt. Fuji:

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First we dropped Bjarke off here:

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And he is spending the day hitch hiking back up Mt. Fuji to the top road point, and then he is going to climb to the very top. Here is a recap of his days journey before heading back to Mochan!'s for the night (BTW, it took him a month to get me these pictures):

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Next time Japan! Next time! Joe hates hiking b/c his feet are flat and this that or the other thing. I am not good at hiking, but I really love it, and I want to climb Mt. Fuji someday. I want to climb a lot of things someday. Since I'll be in New Zealand, I hope to climb many beautiful things and see places like this.

But, we went to Tokyo, and this is what we saw:

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The Tokyo Tower! We were actually on our way to the famous Tokyo Fish Market, but we made Mochan! take a pit stop for those of us who really hadn't been to Tokyo yet to get a good glimpse of this monstrosity.

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And then, down the road, we wondered around the fist market for about an hour.

Redic fresh sushi:
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Then while we were waiting for Mochan! to come and pick us up Esa and Meri showed us that they were actually the couple that inspired the story Born Identity (JK... or am I?):

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They showed us these as they were getting ready to head into the Russian embassy to get their visas to take a 2 week long, non-stop train ride across Russia back to Finland because it was "cheaper" than buying a flight. (That, or they were planing a train heist to capture the Tsar's jewels!)

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After we dropped them off at the embassy we went to the "Lolita Park" where girls supposedly are known for dressing up in little bonnets and big pouffy dresses to get spotted for Japanese television. This happens really only on Sunday though, and it was Friday, so here were the slim pickings we found:

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Then we ate lunch with Mochan! for one of the first times b/c we actually found a place to park the bus just around the corner from the park! So we had (once again) 7-11 sushi and things from the convenience store, and then it was back to pick up Esa and Meri as they were staying with Mochan! one more night as well, and then he dropped the rest of us off a the Lost in Translation intersection (The busiest intersection in the World!)

Joe and I were meeting Shelly's husband at the dog statue here to pick up our JR rail passes, and then I didn't know what our plans for the evening were! Joe was the one in contact with Shelly all week, so I really didn't know what the plans were. Then Joe had to go to the bathroom. So I sat there at the dog, waiting for some Japanese man to find me somehow to give me our JR passes. This place turned out to be a popular meeting ground for everyone in Tokyo! There were so many people walking around looking for people, I couldn't tell which one was looking for me! Especially b/c the guy looking for me is looking for a couple, and Joe was spending his usual 30 min. in the bathroom. Then a white girl sat down next to me. "Go away! I'm tired and I need this railing to rest on! And you are totally blowing my cover as not a girl traveling with another girl!"

When Joe eventually found me, this guy who I thought may have been the husband came up to us and gave us a FedEx package. We talked for a few minutes, and then he left. "So... we aren't hanging out with them tonight?" "No, they were busy tonight, so maybe we will hang out with them later. I got us a hostel for tonight." Then we got in a fight. He was being really short with me all day, and now he was blaming me for not knowing what was going on b/c I had to go off and have a "religious experience" with Eelke for several hours. "That is so not fair! I do one thing for myself! One thing! How often are you off meditating or practicing Kung Fu while I'm on the computer planing things, booking places to stay, figuring out where we are going to be next?! And I have one night where I have maybe one of the most spiritually important events of my life, and you are trying to guilt trip me about it?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

We ended up getting way lost after arriving at the proper subway station, and I wondered up and down the streets asking people for help, and getting absolutely no where! Then I finally found it on accident, and it turned out that the original directions we got from the police man were right, and we just passed the place b/c it was a small hole in the wall CAPSULE HOTEL! Straws were just falling down left and right. I had just told everyone at dinner the other night how I love Japan, but I could NEVER sleep in one of their capsule hotels b/c I am claustrophobic. He really didn't care about me, or maybe he cared too much and this was his way of getting back at me for abandoning him for an evening. I'm not sure what was going on here, but I was glad that they had girl and guy rooms. I went up to my room, and locked myself in for the few hours we had before we were meeting Eelke, Ida, Jorn, and Nono for Kareoke.

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The capsules ended up being large, and set up like bunk beds with curtains, so it wasn't like I was stuffed inside someone's sock drawer, so I was fine. But I couldn't stop fuming about it because there was no way he could have known that this wouldn't have been a problem for me. And to top it off, we had to sleep here b/c I dropped the ball for one night, one night where he had to make the plans. Tomorrow is his birthday. I planned all week for this, getting train schedules, and finding directions to get to the only ferry covered on our JR pass. The ferry to Miajima island, one of the most romantic, traditional styled towns still in Japan with amazing gardens, temples, shrines, and mountains.

I wasn't feeling much in the mood for a romantic get a way.

I got Joe to come out with me early to meet Eelke at the Subway station b/c I knew it was going to be confusing. I had no idea. Ida told us to meet her at the zebra walk (cross walk) under the bridge outside the Ueta station. Well... there were like 5 bridges outside different station exits over zebra walks. Luckily we picked the right one and we found Eelke about a half hour early! "What are you doing here so early?" Well, it turned out that Ida had called her making changes in plan since it was very hard to find the right meeting spot, and then called her again and told her that they were going to be late, and it was up to Eelke to pass this message onto Joe, Nono, and I without the use of phones or computers since we didn't have phones, and Eelke didn't have a computer. Joe needed dinner, and Eelke and I needed a drink, so we split up for the next 20 minutes while we waited to meet Nono. Around 9pm we had Joe running from exit to exit to see if he could find Nono in his bright teal construction workers pants, I waited at the zebra walk that Joe and I met Eelke at earlier, and then Eelke went to the Kareoke bar to meet Ida and Jorn. Not too long I spotted Nono, and then Joe came running in shortly after. But when we got to the Kareoke bar (more like a bunch of individual rooms set up with personal Kareoke machines... thats a Kareoke bar in Japan), and Ida and Jorn weren't there! We got the people to push back the time 30 minutes for our friends, and then they finally showed and we ran upstairs to our room. The drinks were expensive so we tried to supplement that with Nono's beer collection he brought in his backpack, and then we went to figuring out how to work the machine. I read all the labels for everyone, but we still couldn't figure out the system, so after Bohemian Rapacity played for the 4th time in a row, we called someone to help. I attempted to ask them how to fix it in Japanese, but Ida did just fine with miming. The hour went by really really quickly with some Michel Jackson, show tunes, and Aqua (I put up Barbie Girl for Ida and Jorn b/c they were from Scandinavia just like Aqua, and damn, they acted it out and everything, good pick me!) Nono of course had to put up the "Are you hoping for a Miracle" song, of which I sang every lyric and even added in my own rendition apology saying its not my fault my parents did it in America so I was born American. Joe was shocked by the lyrics, he never knew what they were saying, he just jammed out to it in his car. You may be too:

"Helicopter"

North to south
Empty
Running on
Bravado
As if to say, as if to say
As if to say, he doesn't like chocolate
He's born a liar, he'll die a liar
Some things will never be different

Stop being so American
There's a time and there's a place
So James Dean
So blue jeans
Gonna save the world
He's gonna

Are you hoping for a miracle?
Are you hoping for a miracle?
Are you hoping for a miracle?
Are you hoping for a miracle?

Three out of five, three out of five (it's not enough)
Six out of ten
Better luck next time
Just like his Dad, just like his Dad (the same mistakes)
Some things will never be different
Hungry and dumb, hungry and dumb (so wait in line)
Queuing up for some more junk food
It's not my fault, it's not my fault (just this once)
They're getting so much younger

Why can't you be more European
Bastard child of guilt and shame
Bury your head in the sand
I'm thinking six, six, six
I'm thinking six

Are you hoping for a miracle?
Are you hoping for a miracle?
Are you hoping for a miracle?
Are you hoping for a miracle?

It's not enough.

Anyways, they came in with 10 minutes left, and we all agreed that we could afford one more half hour (Kareoke is expensive!) Eelke was leaving tomorrow morning, so we had to party just a bit longer.

When the night was over we tried to hang out on the town a bit, but it was getting late and it was raining really hard. Then Ida had to run to their hostel to skype with someone really quickly (she had a time setup), and we had to bale. We tried to find Eelke a photo booth to do the sticker thing b/c she didn't get to do that last time, but all things were closing up early due to the rain (Japanese people really hate the rain).

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Joe and I rode the subway 2 stops with Eelke, and then we were the next stop after her. I gave her a great big hug, and I felt some tears start to form as she ran off the train. "Bye Eelke! You are my spiritual guru!"

The train doors closed and I felt my heart slow down and I got control of myself. It wasn't that sad, we weren't really close or anything. I just wish I could have known her longer.

"SHE... is your spiritual guru?" Joe asked.
"Yeah, maybe, I don't know, it just sort of came out."

- Fight -

Basically ending with Joe was upset that someone like Eelke could gain my respect, but I just think he is full of shit. For anyone who knows us, please let me know what I think of him, and if I'm right, and its not like what he says, then you can let him know too. But if he is right, and I think he is full of shit, than don't tell him that, and we can just keep that bit between us.

Posted by - Rain 15:41 Comments (1)

Mt. Fuji! (is covered in clouds) Part 2

This morning we got up and got ready to see Mt Fuji AND! It was cloudy again. "Well, lets try and see what we can see," Mochan! suggested.

First Mt. Fuji Viewing Spot:
The Shinkansen (bullet train) in front of Mt. Fuji

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We couldn't see Mt. Fuji, and Eelke randomly asked if people were just allowed to grow their own food there since it looked kinda disorganized, and so Mochan! ran out to ask (always the good tour guide). And they are private gardens, but you have to get permits.

Second Stop:
Mt. Fuji viewing museum:

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Look how amazing Mt Fuji looked!
...

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And it was spring time!
...

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And we got to see the Shinkansen... and a dolphin cloud?

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And we made it all the way to the top and got these great shots of kids playing in the snow...

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Yeah, I took pictures of Mt. Fuji from the museum.

This is what Mt. Fuji looked like to use:

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(Its that thing inside the clouds)

Moving on, Mochan decided to move us on from Mt. Fuji to the "waterfalls" that Shizuoka is not famous for (sounds nice... with a hint of disappointed sarcasm)

2 Words (there is a poem/ story about that)
anyways,

2 Words:
A - Mazing!

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They just kept going! It was an entire canyon of waterfalls!

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And it had this surprisingly strong river flowing from its coral pond, and it was simply stunning.

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Then Mochan! started walking us to another waterfall through the canyon of waterfalls, and it was like we never had to leave the first group of waterfalls.

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"WOW"

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Mochan!... you really know how to make a slightly depressing day completely Awe- (and wait for it)... -Some! (Brittany has got me watching How I met your Mother, so I apologize for the Neil Patrick Harris-isms)

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I heart Mochan!

Bjarke and I standing over the river that flows over the falls:

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Next Mochan! took us back to Mt. Fuji to have lunch at the lake with a picturesque view of Mt. Fuji.

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That last one is of Mt. Fuji... yeah... I want to eat lunch back to the waterfalls.

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But at least it was warm here (very cold and windy at the waterfalls)

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And then, it was time, time to see if we could beet these clouds by climbing above them... with the Wish Bus!

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Its serious driving time!

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Especially because at parts you couldn't see 10 ft in front of you.

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But we made it to like 2,000 something or other, the highest point you can drive to.

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That path is for the hikers... yeah, good luck with that one. Eelke is cold, we have to get back down!

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Then Mochan! took us back down the mountain into town to tour the Sake factory. I guess he does this all the time, and the owner didn't speak any English, so Mochan! just took us inside and talked us through the entire process.

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Eelke was still freezing.

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They sealed the takes with old accounting notes, so you could really see how long these barrels were sealed off just by the paper being used.

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Then we got to go Sake tasting in the shop.

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We ate Sake candy (non alcoholic, just the left over rice made into squishy candies), and tasted all sorts of different aged and treated Sakes before buying 2 bottles of the 10 year old Sake (very young, but sweet tasting and kinda rose colored).

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(This is why we had to buy 2)

Then it was time, for our most momentous undertaking. Mochan! took us the a construction workers shop where all of us except for Joe and the Italian guy, bought Mochan! pants!

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(Back at Mochan!'s place:)

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We hung out for a bit (and shared the Sake like a good communal group would) after Mochan! made us all another wonderful meal. Eelke had Hitome give her a massage b/c she was a professional masseuse, and I gave up hope. "Sweetie, I really need this, so we can do the regression afterwords, okay?" "Yeah, sure, no hurry." I told her, but I didn't really mean it. I knew she was going to blow me off again. Then, after the massage was done, I walked up to Eelke and asked if she was all relaxed and ready, and she told me that they were actually going to head upstairs now so she could lye down and get a facial massage. Yeah, I guess not all of me believed that I was being blown off, because now I was pissed.

About an hour later, Eelke came down stairs and whispered for me to follow her out to the bus. All the guys were again very excited to know what the two of us needed to go to the bus for some private alone time, and we played it up.

I couldn't believe it, this was actually happening.

Relief swept over me. If she had blown me off, that would have been it. Every other spiritual experience would have been tainted by this last straw. I would never again believe in the supernatural. I would never want to. Now, I had hope. This wasn't going to be an awakening, but it was someone willing to try.

She put on some relaxing music, and had me lie down along the back seat. She started off by getting me in a relaxed state, holding no tensions in my mussels (I could have used a massage as well, but all I had to do was follow her lead, she was the one who needed to be tranquil to get me to where I was going).

I was relaxed, I was comfortable, I was thinking of a comfortable, tranquil location. I pictured myself on a grassy hill underneath a tree, gazing up at the stars. "Feel the sun warm your skin," she implored. Crap, no sun, what do I do?

I liked that she was not a professional at this, so small things like not realizing that someone's peaceful spot wasn't a meadow on a sunny day, can slip through. But I just made the sun peak out over the horizon, and I could feel the warmth of the sun begin to heat my body from the cold of the night air inside of the Wish Bus.

She kept getting me more and more comfortable, more and more relaxed, more and more distant from where my physical body was. Then she made something happen to me that no0one had been able to do ever before. I felt a surge of chi encompass my entire body! She had this ball of bright energy engulf me, and this would be my safe place I cold retreat to if needed, and in that moment of having all of my good thoughts and intensions encase me in light and warmth, I felt a surge of electromagnetic energy course though my body and radiate like a magnet from my body. Chi rushed in circles from the tip of my crown, through my legs, and back up my spine, then another circle down my arms and pooling in the palms of my hands. I realized my hands from their folded position on my stomach and heat plunged from out of my dontien and seemed to flood the air around me, and yet my body never cooled. Like I said, by body was incased in this light, and even though head was poring out through my belly button, no heat was ever waisted or lost from my system.

Whatever else Eelke did this evening, it didn't matter. She did this, unknowingly as far as I could tell, and possibly even unintentionally, but she did it regardless, and I can never repay her for this moment.

"Picture the glob, rotating on its axis... does the rotation ever seem to slow down at parts?"

I thought about it.

"Yes, around Africa and Europe."

"Picture Africa and Europe on a map, does any land mass seem larger than you think it should be?"

"Ummm, yeah, Europe seems disproportionately large."

"Zoom in on Europe, is any country particularly brighter than the others?"

Spain was actually glowing golden on my sepia and blue colored map.

"Ha, yea, actually Spain is glowing."

"Get a closer look at Spain, can you read any town names on your map?"

"No, my map is only topographical."

"Thats okay, can you zoom in on any particular area and see the landscape?"

I did, and I found myself in a little town with cobble stone pathways through narrow alleys. There was a grassy landscape just outside of town where the hill I was laying down on before was located.

"But that might just be me influencing the landscape with things I already know from my imagination."

"Your imagination is your subconscious, and that is what we are trying to access. Maybe this place you came up with in your imagination where you felt safe and calm was a place in a past life you used to go to when you needed some space and time to yourself."

"What time is is?"

"Sunrise."

"What year is it?"

"It seems old, maybe a few hounded years ago, or it could just be a small village that has kept its quaintness, and it would be only 50 years ago."

"What is your name?"

"I don't know."

"Are you male or female?"

"Ahhhh, I assumed female until you just said that, but now... I'm not sure."

"Look down at your hands, are they a man's or a woman's?"

"Crap, I don't know, I feel I'm influencing this again b/c I am a woman, so I see woman hands, but they could be a man's hands just as easily."

"Walk down the street a bit, until you get to a shop."

"Okay, I'm at a shop."

"What kind of shop is it?"

"I don't know, its in Spanish."

"What does it say?"

"Its like in a dream, I can't focus on the worlds."

"What does it smell like?"

"Bread, it smells like a bread shop."

"Can you see in though the window, or is the sunlight reflecting off of it too much?"

"Yes, a little, but I mostly see reflections from the street."

"What do you look like?"

She caught me off guard. I was a woman, black hair done half up and half down, red shawl around my shoulders over a white cotton shirt.

"Now look down at your hands."

They were the same woman's hands I saw the first time.

"Do you have any jewlery?"

"I have some rings and bangles."

"How about on your left hand?"

"Rings"

"On you ring finger?"

"Yes."

"Are you married?"

"No, I don't think I am, but I think I am engaged. The ring has a small diamond on it."

She tried to have me walk to my home, but I couldn't figure out which way to go. So she just had me walk down the streets, and see what I could find. I ended up going up this staircase to a second story apartment, but it wasn't my home. I didn't feel like it was home, but it was a place I'd been to often.

"I want you to picture yourself in a moment when you were very frightened."

I was suddenly in my home, in my bed. It was a place I had never been to before. The white room was tinted blue in the night.

"Where are you?"

"In my bed."

"Where are your parents?"

"Not here."

"Are they dead?"

"Not dead, but not here either."

"Are you alone?"

"No, I don't live alone, maybe I live with a friend."

"Can you hear them?"

"No."

"Can you get out of bed and walk down the hallway?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'm afraid to get out of bed. Its dark, and I think someone is outside."

Then we hit a road block. I couldn't answer any questions for a few minutes. "I don't know" over and over.

"Tell me the first 5 words that pop into your head."

"Calm, fear, dog," and there were 2 others, but I didn't write this down afterwords (even though I remembered for a few days latter) b/c I don't think that the words were what was important, but it was the way they came out so unintelligible, but then blended into the story perfectly.

"Now rearrange them into an order that makes sense."

And just like that, I reordered the words, and it came into a story about a dog barking at the rustling bushes outside my second story bedroom. She had me go outside to my stair case, and then search around the bushes to confront my fear, but I couldn't find anything. Dead end again. But no matter, there was much else to talk about.

"Think of the last time you saw your parents, try to remember what it felt like, how old you were."

"I was young, maybe 9 or 10."

"Were they leaving to go somewhere?"

"No, I was."

"Where were you going?"

"I don't know."

Then this turned into an elaborate 2 day journey in a black car through the country side, to a night where I slept over some relatives house, and then back in the car to the town where I started this "dream" in. I was dropped off at a large church looking building that reminded me of Hogwarts (and I told Eelke as much). It seemed as though I was going to a boarding school under my won desire to study abroad.

"Knock Knock Knock"

Someone was banging on the side of the Wish Bus window.

"You can go ahead and get that, I can wait."

"No, its alright," and we moved on. I met my best friend here, a little boy. This boy grows up to be the man who's apartment I went over rather than going to my home when we first entered this dream. He turns out to be a huge jerk, and he and I are in this fight. He is my best friend, but he has a temper. We are arguing about the ring. I am not sure if he is the one who gave it to me, or if he is upset about the person who did. I threw the ring at him, and he approached me and slapped me so hard across the face I woke up on the floor, looking at the rug.

This happens often in my life. I am shocked at how strong he is, and I have no strength in myself to defend or attack.

"I want you to picture yourself just before you died."

I was an older woman, thick grey hairs blew in the wind from under my hat. I was under a tree on a hillside looking over a field of those white spherical seed balls that are some kind of weed. I couldn't think of their name then, and I still can't now.

"How do you feel?"

"I feel healthy, strong, ready to face the day, bold, determined, and above all else, I feel free."

"Do you die here?"

"Yes."

"I want you to picture yourself leaving your body, ascending out of this world and onto the next."

I did.

"Now look back on yourself. What do you see?"

What could I see? The only explanation for my sudden death would be that I was shot, probably to the head.

"I think my reason an logic skills are influencing what I see. I can't imagine any other solution other than a bullet to the head, so I see myself fallen into the tall grass as if I had just been shot."

"Now tell me, what is the one lesson you wish to bring with you into your next lives."

I paused, and then something came out that I had not seen coming, that didn't seem to have any foreshadowing, but when you think about it, it makes sense for her life.

"Trust yourself as much as you trust in others."

She had me repeat this 5 times, and then she had me sit up, and we spent maybe 20 minutes discussing how I was feeling about the whole regression, and how I felt about everything she had been saying concerning spirituality, and how I thought it was all bull, until I realized that I wasn't thinking it was bull at all, but I was thinking my reaction to what she was saying was bull. Trust yourself, meaning, don't be down on yourself, and think you are not as good as others, or that someone else could do something for you better than you could do it for yourself. And trust in others equally, meaning if someone is doing something for you, believe in their abilities as much as you would believe in your ability to do it yourself. Don't be with someone you think you are better than, and don't be with someone who thinks they are better than you. Trust in each other, and trust in yourself.

Posted by - Rain 12:54 Comments (3)

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