A Travellerspoint blog

November 2010

Yo Tengo Nervosa

It's all in english


Have you ever thought, "I wonder who is crazy? Is he crazy? Or maybe her."

Sure, everyone knows we're all crazy. But, some people are really crazy.

I'm one of those people.

Ha ha. I'm using that word a lot to create a nervous intense feeling in the reader. I think it works. This idea was inspired by a message from my couch surfer that night. He similarly used the word crazy about 5 or 6 times in a short e-mail and it made my head spin round.

I'm gonna put it all on the table; let it all hang out; or, maybe just half.

I have nervosa. Further, I have a disorder. No, it's not Anorexia Nervosa. I HAVE gotten skinny on this trip, but I swear it's only malnutrition. I have a nervous disorder, but I won't tell you what type. This is me:

I meet someone new. It's only one person and Rain is not there. I am cool. I am relaxed most of the time. We talk, and it's good conversation. He leaves, and I continue cooking. I have been a nervous mess lately.

The butterflies return.

A world a flutter.

Rushing water with no home.

The top twists and fumbles,

landing face down in the filth.



It is the universe. It is the soul.

Pick it up gently. Wash it with love.

Love comes from the hands.

Relax them and let them float.

In them all is done.

This crappy poem originated from a nervous hour; a time which should be tranquil, but is in fact, a mess of nervous mistakes and fumbles. I was preparing dinner. No, the word preparing makes my actions sound well thought out with patience. I was at the point of my cooking that often brings out this nuerosis; the finishing stretch when the food is hot and needs to be prepared, served, and eaten. I should be nimbly dancing back and forth; pouring my Soy milk, adding some salt, and putting together all the pieces easily and smoothly. I should move steadily seeming almost slow, yet seeming to get an incredible amount done in a short time. Never overburdened.

I do this sometimes, but not enough. This time I bump into things. Open the cap to the soy milk and it spins right out of my hands. It hits the floor with much more surety than I'M managing; perfect smooth landing, face down in some filth. I make the sound, "AAAPP!" then, "Hhaaa" when I breath and relax. I remember my philosophy that everything has a soul.

The cap has a soul, but so does the filth. They are part of the energy of this universe.

Posted by - Rain 16:46 Comments (0)

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